Tag Archive | relationship

The Space in Between

“You’ve got to learn to leave the table when love’s no longer being served.” ~Nina Simone

One thing I love about the tarot: besides being an intuitive tool, a set of cards that can answer any question you can ask, each card in the tarot deck tells a story and offers universal wisdom. And each time you pick up the same card, you see different nuances to the story. So, with the 8 of Cups that I was drawn to today.

8ofcups

Left: Rider Waite Tort. Right: Tarot of the New Vision

The man is walking away, leaving everything behind. The moon up above has his eyes closed. Where he is going is uncertain, but it is important for him to leave. In the card on the right, you can see the sadness on the man’s face. He has crossed the river, there is no going back. What he is leaving behind was once joyful but is no longer.

There are times in our lives when it is necessary to leave a circumstance or person behind, to walk away without looking back. When there is no longer any joy or love in the situation. When what was once joyful and exciting has become painful and exhausting. When we feel the loss of leaving but we know there is no other choice.

What captured my attention in the picture this time is the space between two cups in the top row. The space between. In any journey there are times of walking away and times of walking toward and there is the space in between. That space in between can be the hardest space to be in and the most beautiful, if we allow it. There is grief, there is loneliness, uncertainty, fear.

But this space in between is opportunity, if we allow it. When we process the grief and go through the loneliness, we have the space to look into our soul, to get to know ourselves again. What was the gift in the situation? What did I learn? What do I really want?

The space in between is hope. This space is an empty canvas. What are you going to paint on the canvas? Let your imagination run wild.

A few years ago, I was unhappy with just about everything in my life. I had lost my passion for my health coaching business, I was unhappy in my job, some friends had gradually drifted away. I decided I was going to move, but when I started looking for jobs in other states, I got nowhere. I saw an intuitive coach for guidance and was told that I wasn’t going anywhere until I found happiness where I was. Not what I wanted to hear. But I sat with it. I looked around me for happiness. I put everything on hold and picked up one thread of something that I knew had given me happiness in the past: dance. I had stopped ballroom dancing and when I tried to pick it up again, I didn’t find a place that felt right to me. I came upon a Salsa and Latin studio when I was wandering around Meetup, a circuitous and synchronous path. It never showed up in my searches for ballroom dance. It took a little time, but I found there not only the joy of dancing, but the community that I had been missing.

I never moved, I didn’t change jobs. I’ve been inspired, learning and growing, making changes, loving my life. I’m still figuring a lot of stuff out. I’ve been in this space in between other times since, the dance and the community have been there for me. I’ll be in the space again and I’ll know what to do.

This space in between the leaving of one thing and the coming of the next, it is necessary. It is a constant in our journey. When you learn to be in it, it’s a beautiful space full of promise and opportunity. Allow it. Take it in. Paint the picture on the empty canvas of what you desire and let the synchronicity, the Universe, God do the rest.

 

 

Advertisements

We’re friends, my body and I

and i said to my body. softly. ‘i want to be your friend.’ it took a long breath. and replied ‘i have been waiting my whole life for this.’ ~Nayyirah Waheed

For how long have I not been a friend to my body? Criticizing her, hating her, wishing she was I want to be your friendsomething else. A chubby child and somewhat taller than average girl. A reader, a thinker, not an athlete. I learned early on that my body was not “right,” and the path to happiness was raw vegetables, rice cakes, and hours at the gym (a path I rarely followed).

When I started college, the “freshman 15” was closer to 30 and there started my relationship with dieting, a 20+ year dysfunctional relationship. Weight Watchers, Atkins, South Beach, counting calories, hours at the gym, I even ran for a few years. At one point, my personal trainer had me on a 1000 calorie diet, which I stayed on for all of two days.

If you’ve never dieted or worried about your weight, here’s what dieting feels like: being hungry all the time, always being obsessed with your next meal, and hating yourself every time you eat chocolate. Sounds like fun, right?

With each diet, I was sure I had the magic formula and I would lose the weight and keep it off. And every time, I gained the weight back.

Until finally, I had enough. Enough punishing my body. Enough hating myself. Enough criticism. Enough restrictions.

Enough of other people, people who do not live in my body, telling me what not to eat.

“and I said to my body softly, ‘I want to be your friend.'”

For every person who has lost weight and gained it back, there is either a physiological, emotional, and/or energetic reason for the extra weight. And for each person, the reason is unique. Any diet that focuses only on behavior modification without addressing those reasons will most likely not work in the long run, which is why the diet industry is multi-million dollar industry.

Not to mention the adverse affect of GMOs (genetically modified organism) and huge increase of sugar in our diets. Sugar, by the way, is highly addictive, and it’s hidden in a LOT of foods – start reading labels and you’ll see.

I could get on my soap box about what society and the media have done to our self-confidence and body image, but I’ll leave that for another day and get back to my story.

When I decided to befriend my body, to love her the way she is, I knew I had a journey of emotional healing ahead of me. All of the energy I had been putting into counting calories, I put into meditation, energy work, journaling, getting to know myself.

I started listening to the wisdom of my body, I asked her what kind of nutrients she wanted to keep going. The more I listened, the more she spoke. She does not feel well on wheat gluten or dairy, which is not easy. Despite the popularity of vegetarian and vegan lifestyles, she needs animal protein to stay healthy. Every day, every meal, she has different needs for what kind and how much food will make her work at optimal level.

The human body is meant to move, so I found better ways than spending hours on a treadmill. This body loves to walk and to dance, so we do more of that.

Our relationship – my body, mind, and spirit – is evolving. Sometimes the mind or spirit decide on a pizza and ice cream. My body has a reaction and I apologize and we move on.

I have not yet magically started shedding pounds, but I’ve stopped worrying about it so much. I’ve accepted that this is one of the lessons I’ve come to earth to learn. We’ve come a long way to a more loving relationship.

We’re friends, my body and I.