Tag Archive | beginnings

Nature’s Pharmaceutical: Walk in the Woods

The trees have a story and so do IIMG_3106
I listen to their secrets
and they listen to mine
More wood nymph than mermaid
this East Coast girl
who spends her time in the corporate world

I head out into nature with my coziest sweatshirt and healing crystals in my bra. As I walk the familiar paths at the Fairfield Audubon Society, deeper into the woods, I expect all stress to wash away. I hope to breathe deeply and feel my shoulders relax. Instead, I feel the anxiety fully, the tightness in my solar plexus. Because finally, I allow myself to feel, all of it. Sadness also came with me, I don’t know why. Something old, perhaps, that I pushed away. Safe there, with the trees. They will keep my secrets.

I have always felt safer under cover of forest than in the vast open spaces. As a child, I loved playing in the woods behind our house, splashing in the streams. Perhaps I was a wood nymph in another life, a dryad or, maybe a fairy. In the stress and fast pace of the adult world, I too often forget the healing power of the trees, the peace I can find there.

So I walked, choosing the longer path, leading away from the people, searching for solace. I let go of the chatter in my mind, a walking meditation. I appreciate the beauty of the nature around me. Some destruction and some new growth. I came to a place where boards form the path across a stream and some uncertain ground – we’re in the wetlands here – and I wonder how steady it is. I check in with my healing knee and I see the fear, the fear of falling. And I wonder why I have always had this fear, when I know my guardian angels work over time. I do the stupidest things and have never broken a bone or seriously hurt myself, even though I probably should have.

Today, this is what anxiety looks like. I consider turning back, but I keep going. My knee is strong. So are the boards. I can trust life again.

I’m here in the woods because the energy healer told me to be here. The electronics and noise of my every day world adds to the anxiety. I’m here because I’ve gotten so used to being anxious it feels normal to me, but it’s keeping me stuck. I’m here in the woods because, after a session with an energy healer, I finally feel relief, some peace and quiet from the mean girl anxiety voices in my head 24/7 telling me I’m not good enough. The voices are gone and I’m ready to move forward. I’m here in the woods because the healing has just begun and there is energy to move.

I’m walking this path in the woods because there’s this magical, bright, sparkly light who is ready to come out. She’s been listening to the voices that tell her she’s not good enough and now she’s telling them to shut the fuck up. I’m here, talking about anxiety, even though it scares the shit out of me, because we’ve been quiet and scared and alone long enough.

I’m here, telling my story, because we’re all on this journey together. The world needs our light. I walk the path before you, and I walk the path beside you.

The trees have a story and so do I.

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The Space in Between

“You’ve got to learn to leave the table when love’s no longer being served.” ~Nina Simone

One thing I love about the tarot: besides being an intuitive tool, a set of cards that can answer any question you can ask, each card in the tarot deck tells a story and offers universal wisdom. And each time you pick up the same card, you see different nuances to the story. So, with the 8 of Cups that I was drawn to today.

8ofcups

Left: Rider Waite Tort. Right: Tarot of the New Vision

The man is walking away, leaving everything behind. The moon up above has his eyes closed. Where he is going is uncertain, but it is important for him to leave. In the card on the right, you can see the sadness on the man’s face. He has crossed the river, there is no going back. What he is leaving behind was once joyful but is no longer.

There are times in our lives when it is necessary to leave a circumstance or person behind, to walk away without looking back. When there is no longer any joy or love in the situation. When what was once joyful and exciting has become painful and exhausting. When we feel the loss of leaving but we know there is no other choice.

What captured my attention in the picture this time is the space between two cups in the top row. The space between. In any journey there are times of walking away and times of walking toward and there is the space in between. That space in between can be the hardest space to be in and the most beautiful, if we allow it. There is grief, there is loneliness, uncertainty, fear.

But this space in between is opportunity, if we allow it. When we process the grief and go through the loneliness, we have the space to look into our soul, to get to know ourselves again. What was the gift in the situation? What did I learn? What do I really want?

The space in between is hope. This space is an empty canvas. What are you going to paint on the canvas? Let your imagination run wild.

A few years ago, I was unhappy with just about everything in my life. I had lost my passion for my health coaching business, I was unhappy in my job, some friends had gradually drifted away. I decided I was going to move, but when I started looking for jobs in other states, I got nowhere. I saw an intuitive coach for guidance and was told that I wasn’t going anywhere until I found happiness where I was. Not what I wanted to hear. But I sat with it. I looked around me for happiness. I put everything on hold and picked up one thread of something that I knew had given me happiness in the past: dance. I had stopped ballroom dancing and when I tried to pick it up again, I didn’t find a place that felt right to me. I came upon a Salsa and Latin studio when I was wandering around Meetup, a circuitous and synchronous path. It never showed up in my searches for ballroom dance. It took a little time, but I found there not only the joy of dancing, but the community that I had been missing.

I never moved, I didn’t change jobs. I’ve been inspired, learning and growing, making changes, loving my life. I’m still figuring a lot of stuff out. I’ve been in this space in between other times since, the dance and the community have been there for me. I’ll be in the space again and I’ll know what to do.

This space in between the leaving of one thing and the coming of the next, it is necessary. It is a constant in our journey. When you learn to be in it, it’s a beautiful space full of promise and opportunity. Allow it. Take it in. Paint the picture on the empty canvas of what you desire and let the synchronicity, the Universe, God do the rest.

 

 

and so it begins…

Life begins at the end of your comfort zone. ~Neale Donald Walsch

And so I begin right here, at the very edge of comfort, stepping through, over, or around fear. I’m being called to step out of my comfort zone and step into a higher and more authentic version of myself. Julie 4.7.2.1 – Healer, Writer, Coach, Speaker.

I’m committing to write regularly the words from my heart. Coming out of the spiritual closet. Sharing my stories, getting vulnerable. My intention to spread love and light into the world.

Journey Into Light is about the journey of discovering who we are and why we’re here. It’s about healing and love, about finding joy and accepting sadness, about dancing and being still. It’s about being our most authentic selves, releasing fear, and letting in love. It’s about finding our life purpose and living it, every day, out loud. I’ll muse about God and spirituality, soul mates, relationships, health, body image, chakras, energy healing, and my love affair with coffee.

Journey Into Light is about how I got to Julie 4.7.2.1 and my development plan for Julie 5.0. The journey about letting go, after 40+ years, of who I thought I should be and loving, accepting, embracing, BEING authentically me.

Journey Into Light is also very much about living on the edge of your comfort zone. It’s where all the cool stuff happens, just outside your comfort zone. It’s the best place to go for personal growth. Also, there are roller coasters here.

Some days I’ll be profound and some days I may just be silly, but I promise to write. My intention and my desire is that something I say somehow touches you and helps in some way. After all, in the words of Ram Dass, “We’re all just walking each other home.”