For many of us, losing weight is much more an emotional and spiritual journey than a physical one. We’ve come to a point where we’ve spent our entire adult lives, or longer, obsessed with food and not eating and feeling hungry, both physically and emotionally. Diets no longer work. We’re tired of feeling like everything delicious is fattening, we’ve come to hate the gym, and we’re making decisions based on hating our bodies. We’ve been punishing ourselves and we’ve had enough.
I came to this point a couple of years ago and decided to stop dieting. No more counting calories, no more boring hours at the gym. I was going to eat healthy most of the time and learn to accept myself as I was. I was going to do the emotional work and see what happened with my health and weight. Furthermore, I was going to stop letting my weight keep me from going out and doing things I enjoyed.
I wish I could say I instantly started loosing weight, but I didn’t. I can say that I did the self improvement work, the emotional work, and I got a lot happier. I stopped obsessing about food and I stopped beating myself up over every dessert. I learned how to be happy with who I am. The time I used to spend dreaming of my next meal, I spent getting to know myself. I started listening to the wisdom of my own body. Instead of listening to what other people/organizations/books were telling me to eat, I paid attention to what made me feel good and what made me feel bad.
And then the desire to lose weight came back to the forefront. It had never really left, but I didn’t pay attention to it. My body said no to a detox or cleanse. I couldn’t face the modified fast. I was already eating pretty healthy. So, I surrendered and put it into God’s hands. I asked my angels and spirit guides for help.
And, finally, I started taking my own medicine.
One more, feeling bad about a number of things, I sat down and decided that I was going to spend the day in radical self-love. Any negative messages would be replaced with love. For that day, I would accept all of who I was and everything I did. Any time I thought about it, I would consciously fill my body with the energy of the feeling you get when you love someone, and it would be for myself.
It was a really great day.
It was also the day I realized that I was eating more sugar than I realized and I gave it up. Just like that. Nope, not going to have it anymore. (note that I am a total sugar addict and any previous attempts to give it up have resulted in a somewhat unpleasant detoxification process) It was the day I started losing weight again.
When I’m asked how I lost the weight, I say I gave up sugar. But it was much more than that.
My day of self-love turned into 2 days, then a week. I started a process of releasing, letting go of any energy that wasn’t serving me. I let go of who I am NOT and embraced who I am. I looked not only at what I like about myself, but also about what I don’t like, and I accepted and loved all of it.
Here’s the point of why I’m telling this story. It’s not just that I gave up sugar. I started with self-love and acceptance and I no longer had to hide. Because so many of us are hiding who we are beneath what we perceive to be a protective layer of fat. And it doesn’t serve us. But when we let go of the beliefs that we have to be perfect to be lovable, when we stop trying to fit in, when we let our own unique and beautiful light shine, we can also release what is toxic in our physical bodies.
I have a lot more to say on this and there is more to my story. I will tell it as I am able.